Catching Flies With Honey

19Nov08


There’s an old saying “You can catch more flies with honey than vinegar.”  I’m not sure if that’s true or not in the literal sense, seeing as how I used vinegar once to trap a whole mess of fruit flies, but that is neither here nor there.  The little quip is often stated in reference to being kind to people rather than being a jerk to get them to like you or do what it is that you want them to do.  Seems like a “well duh” concept right?  However, I’m utterly astounded by how often this is not the way people behave.


I hate “venting” blogs, so I will NOT make this about spewing my frustration out on my readers, but I have had my share of vinegar lately and guess what folks?  The saying is CORRECT.


Let’s use the example of dinnertime in our home.  My son treats dinner like I treat breakfast; he just doesn’t have time for it.  There is too much playing and movie watching to do before bath and bedtime for him to be bothered with a family meal.  While I’m not an advocate for force-feeding non-hungry people, my son is actually hungry.  Like clockwork, moments after I’ve put all the food away and cleaned the dishes THEN he wants to eat.    


At the end of the day I usually have a pretty short fuse with my kids and I tend to get very loud and abrupt with them.  To get my boy to eat with the family, I’ve tried yelling, time out, restriction from TV and toys and putting him to bed without dinner.  My temper tantrums over it NEVER end well.  I always just wind up angry and frustrated over vegetables and poultry and that’s just stupid. 


Post-Halloween I’ve started a different approach. 


“Will, if you finish all of your green beans and chicken, Mommy will give you one piece of candy.”  It works (almost) every time. 


Before anyone gets up in arms over me rewarding eating healthy with eating junk… don’t miss the point of the narration:  I got what I wanted by sweetening the deal.


The moral of the story is… if you want me to like you, behave likeably.  If you want me to talk to you, don’t say things that make me want to throw my beloved cell phone into the street.  If you want me to think you are not crazy, stop acting like you are.



And if you can’t serve up some honey, don’t be surprised when I just buzz off.

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4 Responses to “Catching Flies With Honey”

  1. well said. I have to link this blog to a few people I know.

  2. I am a dad.

    I fix dinner. (Sue me, I’m a Texan. We fix a lot of things.)

    He says, “I’m not hungry”. What he means “I’m not hungry because I want to keep doing what I am doing.”

    I put everything away.

    Shocking, he wants to eat.

    Too bad.

    Time for bed.

  3. I know exactly how that goes. My little girl hardly ever wants to eat her food……. unless she knows there is something good coming to her after she finishes! 🙂

    Good blog you got here. I think I’ll link it up. 😉

  4. I moved Audiostraction to a new and final address

    http://audiostraction.wordpress.com

    So when you get the chance, edit your link. 🙂


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