The Almost Factor

06Mar09

Just Kate wrote a blog recently called Things That Go Bump in Our Minds and while reading her words I gained the inspiration for my ramblings today. I simply love her blogs and if you haven’t subscribed, you should.

My greatest fear, even above crickets (and we all know how much I hate those suckers) is the “Almost” factor that has plagued me my whole life. I wonder if anyone in cyberland can relate…

In 27 years, I’ve lived a LOT. If you want to know more, go read my Collection of Useless Crap blog. While I’ve had more experiences than most women my age I feel like somewhere along the journey I’ve missed my boat. I do not write today to beg your sympathies and your praise. I don’t need a pat on the back or to have my ego stroked. I’m just hoping I’m not alone.

Have you ever felt like you’ve almost been really good at something you love, but just not quite good enough? Being that I’m in an unsettled place in my life not really knowing what next year is going to look like for me and my humble little family, I’m contemplating this more and more each day. It’s starting to bum me out a little.

Now I’m going to whine…

I’m almost a good mom.
I can almost design cool websites.
I’m almost a good singer.
I can almost play the piano.
I’m almost a good cook.
I’m almost a respectable Christian.
I’m almost a pretty great daughter, sister, aunt and friend.
I was almost a trophy wife.
I’m almost a great girlfriend.
I’m almost a badass.
I’m almost a writer.

Sigh. Bitchfest over.

Is this a phase because I’ve landed in one of life’s great gray areas? Is there a metaphorical Ex-Lax that I can take to flush this Eeyore syndrome out of my life?

Maybe I’m tired. Maybe I need vodka. Maybe I need another vacation. J

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